God is Love

A Conversation ...

You want to know why I am not deluded about Matthew?

Yes ...

Its very painful to talk about him.

I'm sorry.

And you already know why, don't you? Must I tell you again? I've already told you many times.

You mean about he being given to you by God and so on? But then that wont help me. I don't believe in God.

But everyone believes in love?

Perhaps, at one time or another, maybe.

And whether you are gay or straight such a love is no more or no less difficult or easy to find?

Errr ...

We are talking about love here, and not sex, nor the consummation of that love. Essentially we are talking about finding that one or other person with whom you then know what love is. So be it guy looking for guy, or gal looking for gal, or guy looking for gal, the odds and difficulties favour nobody. Do you think this is the situation?

Sex do play a part. There cannot be love if two person are not compatible sexually.

I would disagree to that, and there are quite deep implications to that. In any case it is immaterial to the point I'm making here. And this is, that it is not just anyone you can fall in love with. Maybe it is one person, maybe it is a few, but it is some specific person that have to be found. You can agree to that?

That's stating the obvious isn't it?

The non obvious thing is that the difficulties and the chances to find this other person is independent of whether you are gay or straight, top or bottom, etc etc. Can you agree to that you?

Hmmm. Ok let me just accept it for the moment. Go on.

But then how can we know there is such a person? What are the evidence to suggest to us that there is or are such waiting for us, and not already taken or taking? Is it reasonable to be positive about love in life?

Some may suggest that people get married everyday as the reason to be positive and optimistic. On the other hand many may be marrying for other than love. Just as in the case of gay LTR, people commit to each other for other than love too. And then also people may point out to many having affairs outside marriage and that there are also those who never get married.

Then also people change. You changed didn't you?

I think so.

You may love someone as he is today from whatever little you know of him and his history. You cannot know everything. Then tomorrow you learnt something about his history or that he got influenced by someone or something he heard, and he is now a different person to you. And the person you loved is no longer there, but gone away, and is as good as dead.

And if there is another thing we can know for sure, this is yet another one, namely that we cannot know everything about anyone.

From you own experience of yourself, can you also agree to this?

Hmmm, maybe.

If that is the case how can we ever be positive about love? Not unless we redefined love the way you have, namely a mutual, but of limited duration, satisfaction of needs between two or more people. But if you do so, we have prostituted love. It has become a trade. Love is traded for some benefits you need or want. And the other party does the same too.

OK. But all these arguments are not supporting why you should be positive at all about Matthew. In fact all the evidences point to you to abandon him. He is with someone now, ignores you and treats you worst than a dog, and a stranger has a better chance to say Hi to him than you. I don't see how you are not utterly deluded about him.

That is if you think what I have just said are the right sort of evidences. And not only I, but how can everyone else be positive about love at all?

Huh?