Are you crying?
Why are you crying?
Aren't you happily married, again? You may say its an infatuation later on but thats not really true in my view. Whatever people say after a breakup are really mere excuses for indulgence. For really marriage don't need love, it just need mutual benefits, and also if you do not know love how can you tell what is an infatuation. But I'm digressing here.
So why are you crying?
You felt his pain for him?
But he does not exist for you. How can you feel anything for a thing that don't exist. He is not even a thing. You can have feelings for rocks but for nothing can you feel anything?
Or perhaps you are you crying for yourself? For the lost it meant to you?
But that shouldn't be the case right?
You have no need for him, and whatever need you may have is substitutable and indeed you have found such substitutes, and even better ones. And that was the reason you rejected him in the first place, for you seek a better one and a more perfect one for yourself. So why should you feel any lost at all?
But then why are you crying?
If it is not for him and it is not for you, there is no reason you should feel any pain should you?
Do you want him to continue to love you, but you don't want to oblige yourself to reciprocate? You want to take but do not want to give. And when you don't have it is painful, painful enough to bring tears?
Or maybe you are crying because he reminded you of someone else who or some other things that caused you pain.
But really I do not know and perhaps cannot know.
I do not know what you think and feel. For as long as you turned your back on me and utter not a sound, I am only left with what I see and my imaginations.
And so I only see you cry. And I imagined you felt pain.
What I do not know is what caused this pain and why this thing is so painful.
As I said I can only imagined why you cry.
And I will say again that love is not about need. It is about becoming your true self. You can reject your brother or your father and say you have no need for them, but they for a fact will always be your brother and father. You can run away and they can let you go, but you can't change reality.
It is like your arm. At times you may say you have no need for an arm. And indeed people do live and get along fine in life without arms, legs, eyes and so on. But the arm is yours. Sure you can cut it away. But then the fact is that you are incomplete.
And such incompleteness can be painful, when you become aware of it.
